Cousin: so, the pizza guy got here, and he was REALLY REALLY HOT and had a REALLY ATTRACTIVE VOICE
Cousin: and he was like "your total is $16.38"
Cousin: and I handed him a $20 and he was like "how much change do you want"
Cousin: for like 20 seconds
Cousin: and he was like "how much change do you want?"
Cousin: (IT GOES DOWN HILL. THIS IS NOT THE EMBARRASSING THING YET.)
Cousin: and I'm like "$2? [awkwardly long pause] $1? ...... NONE"
Cousin: AND I LITERALLY GRABBED THE PIZZA
Cousin: AND SLAMMED THE DOOR
Cousin: (STILL GETTING WORSE, DON'T WORRY)
Cousin: ONCE THE DOOR HAS BEEN SLAMMED I REALIZE
Cousin: AND FROM THE PORCH HE'S LIKE "um i need that back"
Cousin: AND I'M LIKE SHIT MAN
Cousin: AND I HAD TO OPEN THE DOOR
Cousin: AND WAIT FOR HIM TO PULL THE PIZZAS OUT
Cousin: AND HE'S JUST STARING AT ME
Cousin: AND IT TOOK LIKE A WHOLE 30 SECONDS
Cousin: AND MY BROTHER COMES UP AND HE IS LIKE
Cousin: SHE IS FLUSTERED CUZ SHE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE
Cousin: AND I DECIDE THAT CLEARLY I NEED TO PUSH HIM BY HIS FACE
Cousin: WHICH ONLY MAKES EVERYTHING WORSE
Cousin: AND THAT IS WHY I CAN NEVER EVER EVER ORDER DOMINOS EVER AGAIN FOREVER